Pick yourself up!

Becoming the Chosen Rose not only sets you a tad bit higher in respect (great feeling, right?), but it also might make you feel you are alone, which I must tell you, YOU ARE NOT!

I thought the need to write a little about picking up yourself from the dust, disappointment, failure, whatever you want to call it. I felt it would be encouraging for those going through hard times. It was a story I heard, nicely crafted for reading sake.

"It all went wrong. All of a sudden, the glory I thought was mine disappeared into thin air. I couldn't explain where it had all gone, or who took it away. For once in my life, I was trying to be a mature child to prove to my parents that I didn't need them staring into my private affairs, that I had it all under control. But I was wrong. I needed them. I needed her most... my mum. But she wasn't there. She was far away lost in her world. It was difficult for her to locate herself, let alone find me. I wondered through it all on my dried-crusty knees praying hard like it was the only thing I was capable of, hoping that God was somewhere watching and listening. I was hoping He had it all figured out, because I didn't. I needed a lot of help. And then the results came in. My hopes were dashed, I would shed tears at night, and ask myself, 'where is my God?' Whenever that question came to mind, a voice inside would say to me 'it is not the end yet'. Attempting to console myself, I would wipe away my tears, open up my planner and ask myself, 'what next?' Lots of people said 'talk to someone, it relieves you of the pain', but in my situation, no one seemed to understand. Even when they attempted to listen, it was more like self-pity. I began praying for an angel. Someone who amidst the terrible storms would make me feel better about the A's that I managed to pull off. The worst happened, he heard! He had to hear. My dad is the person you want to be hiding behind the curtain when a bad news is about to break out to him. He sat me on the chair in our kitchen and said to me, 'why didn't you call me?' I tried to fight back those tears, but they were gushing out as if someone was cutting onions right next to me. I really should have called him, but of what use will it be? He was a positive parent, one that never believed in the impossibility. He was strong and very full of wisdom. On the other hand, I wanted to be the big girl I thought I was and work things out all by myself, hoping that one day, I would wake up from the dream. I replied his question, 'i don't know'. If we were going to figure things out, 'togetherness' would/should be the lead word. It wasn't the time to throw blames around. Even if anyone wanted to, I had little or no interest to take such in.

Then my angel came.

She was a lady I hadn't thought too much about. A little older than me. We cried together, stayed up late encouraging one and another through it all, school inclusive. She would say to me every time 'it's all going to be beautiful in HIS time'. I would hang unto that statement like it was my last breadth -- until May 16 when it was final, I got a better deal, a better dream, a better background preparation, an amazing upliftment, a new fresh location, a breath of fresh air. In a flash, all the tears vanished. The only ones still left are those reminding my Lord to perfect the rest of my days as He perfected this and put a grin on my face."

I leave you with three words: GOD IS ABLE.

Whether you are in the downhill or valley or even feel like you are getting there, He has you in mind and has a better plan. Just from reading this write-up, I am stronger, encouraged and more confident.

True Happiness (Merry)

This would be my first blog. I got inspired to start writing one when I read a friend's this morning. It feels good to share with the world a word or two that they can learn from, love, hate on...or whatever. Its a fun nice way to let go the little I bottle up inside.

Today, I went shopping sometime at noon. I was hoping to get some room decorations for myself, have a change of wardrobe, and yes! get pillows. My current pillows, for some reason have completely gone flat =( All of them!! Doesn't it seem awkward? (very disturbing if you ask me). Anyways, on entering the store, I saw a beautiful Pajama Set and decided to pick it up for mum. After parading around the entire store and the clock ticking at quickly as it could, I looked at my watch and yelled "Holy Moses!, I gotta get back to school". Rushing up to the cashier's desk, I emptied my little basket ready to pay. On looking again at all the stuff I had gotten, I was shocked to realize that I had almost forgotten about myself and the reason why I came. Every item that laid in front of me was something I had gotten for either a friend or a family member. Even the great pillows one would think I would have picked up, I can't remember how, when or why that skipped my mind.

Isn't it funny how sometimes you leave your house to the mall solely to spend on yourself, and even then, you still say to yourself "It's only $3, let me just get it for him/her" ...and after you leave the mall, you realize that you had spent over $50 for someone else? Don't feel weird, don't be shocked, you are not alone. Living is made different with the impact of just one life. Sometimes it makes you feel unusual when you give a lot, and receive a little or nothing. Let me remind you that there is always somebody watching; it could be a child, an elder, a teen, or for those of you who have faith, God. Just keep doing what you are doing with your heart and not just your mind. When you care for people with your mind, you expect a reward because you would always be thinking about it, but with your heart, its easy to let go, anything goes. In my next blog, I would tell a story of how this changed me. Life is too short to be wasted. Make as many people as you can, as happy as you wish yourself to be. Only then will you find true happiness.